Flowers and missions - can they co-exist?

I planted flowers today. We have this one embankment that's hard to mow in the front of our house. I had this idea of planting a bunch of flowers along it. Driving around these last few weeks you can't help but notice all the tulips, hyacinths and daffodils springing up. Since this is the first spring we've spent in this home I wasn't sure what was going to pop up around here but no flowers have made an appearance. So I went shopping.

I had a coupon for a free six pack of annuals from a local place. And I was given a few flowers for being part of Mom's in Action. And then today I happened upon a deal at a local grocery store where big pots of tulips, hyacinths and Easter lilies were .99 each. AWESOME!

So a-planting I went. And it looks great. And I was just in the middle of looking at my work and thinking how great it looked when this thought hit me, "People in other countries don't plant flowers. They can't afford flowers. You're throwing away money on flowers! What a luxury you're treating yourself to."

I'm familiar with this thought. It comes to me all the time. When I'm buying something so frivolous as a throw pillow...when I want new living room furniture (our current and only set we've ever purchased is 9 years old)...when I pay someone to color my hair...when I think about dance or sports lessons for the kids. It's always there.

And I don't always know what to do with it. I sort of treat it as a little check and balance for myself. But. BUT. There's this guilt thing that comes with it. And I don't think that is a good thing. When it steals joy from the moment and I end up feeling condemned. Not the Father's heart. For sure.

Then I rationalize it away. I think about how many missionaries we support faithfully on a monthly basis. I'm so proud of that! So honored to be a part of what they're doing in the Nations. And I'm sowing in to people sowing in to us and our mission work.

Still it lingers. All the time. In grocery stores, clothing stores, flower stores. Maybe it's a product of growing up a missionary kid. Seeing what others do without. But also, and really this is the part I like about "the thought", it puts things in perspective. Sometimes those just-have-to-have-it-do-it-right-now items fall by the way side. They're not so important after all. I can do without them.

I'm not so sure what I think about my thought. Guess I've still got some thinking to do.

In Honor of Warmer Weather...this reminds me of all things good...

Evening Hymn

Come to the sunset tree,

The day is past and gone;

The woodman's ax lies free,

And the reaper's work is done;

The twilight star to heaven,

And the summer dew to flowers,

And rest to us is given,

By the soft evening hours.

Sweet is the hour of rest,

Pleasant the woods low sigh,

And the gleaming of the west,

And the turf whereon we lie,

When the burden and the heat

Of the laborer's task is o'er,

And kindly voices greet

The tired one at the door.

Yes, tuneful is the sound

That dwells in whispering boughs:

Welcome the freshness round,

And the gale that fans our brows;

But rest more sweet and still

Than ever the nightfall gave,

Our yearning hearts shall fill,

In the world beyond the grave.

There, shall no tempests blow,

Nor scorching noontide heat;

There, shall be no more snow,

No weary, wandering feet;

So we lift our trusting eyes

From the hills our fathers trod,

To the quiet of the skies,

To the Sabbath of our God.

- William Holmes McGuffey

Never Say Never...blah blah blah...

I've got a lot going on at the moment. Been busy. Really busy. And I'm not gonna deny that it's stretching me.

The funny thing about this being that I seem to be living out some sort of weird reality where I decide to do all the things I had previously said I would not be doing. It's very odd and I'm not sure exactly how it all happened. It sort of snuck up on me and BAM here I am doing things that had I been asked if I would be doing them 3 or so years ago I would have given a "no" answer and depending on the day could have gone so far as to say "h-e-double-hockey-sticks no". But here I am.

Homeschooling? Check

Homeschooling more than 1 child? Check

Involved in food prep for a women's ministry? Check

Involved in decorating for another women's ministry? Check

Raising my children in America? Check

Hanging out with women friends on a regular basis? Check

Being a part of children's ministry? Check

Being in charge of children's ministry? Check check

Wow - I just shocked myself by reading the list I wrote. And I'm sure there are things I've not got on there.

I have a sneaking suspicion this all started with a pesky little sermon some 2 years ago about taking open doors of ministry as a chance to pour out what you had received. I had just gone through an intense year of receiving ministry and healing and knew it was my time to "give back". A few thunderbolts and lightning claps later and I was working with the 3 year olds at church.

I'm not sure exactly what God is doing with me but He's doing something. And it's good. And I may not always enjoy it but it is always a challenge - and in a good way.

I heard an awesome woman speak on Tuesday (ok, it was my mom) about how even in the midst of being mothers we're called and capable of doing so much more. It was nice to hear a message that I felt like I was already in the process of walking out. It was confirmation that all these YES'S I've been saying lately have been right on track with where God's taking me.

Where's He taking you?

So I've Got My Limitations

A few days ago I worked. All day. I usually do work all day. As a mom-wife-chef-cook-cleaner-chauffeur etc. Just like most of you. But on this particular day I worked at a new job, outside of my home.

It's a new thing for me - a new season. About once a week I go in to an office and do my thing for about 4 hours. The rest of the work I squeeze into different spaces in my day and lots of hours on the weekend. And I'm good with that. It's different, it's challenging. I like it.

On this particular day I went in earlier than usual. My plan was still to be there for 4 hours and then head home. But. I ended up being there for 7 hours. And I was stretched. And stressed. And I came home to children and a hubby that were stretched and stressed as well. I wasn't feeling too great about being gone all day and the fact that my family hadn't had the best day wasn't helping things much.

I found myself on the phone with a dear friend within minutes of walking in the door. She listened as I poured out my heart-felt emotions about the day. She encouraged. I received.

At the end of the evening, before bed a few things hit me. Things I needed reminded of and even things I didn't realize about myself.

• I am so thankful. No, SO THANKFUL that I don't have to be a full-time working mom. So thankful for a husband who does what it takes to make that happen for our family. So thankful for the small ways I can sometimes contribute to our family income.

• My hat's off and my heart's with any mom that does work full-time. I know some ladies really thrive on their outside the home work but if their hearts feel anything like mine did after just one silly work day - I know how hard it is to do what they do.

• I'm not going to be going back to a full-time job anytime soon. I'm thankful I know this about myself because I've thought about before. Thought it might not be so bad...and the extra money...adult conversation...free Starbucks coffee...health insurance... oh the many perks!

So now I know where my limits are. And where my heart's desire truly is. And there are two small people who get to have me as a full-time mom for a lot more years. And that's just fine with me.

I'm not even gonna lie, I'm totally bragging!

It occurred to me that this past week, with one package of boneless skinless chicken breasts from  Wegmans, I have made the following meals. I'm super impressed with myself. If you wanna be impressed too, go ahead. I don't mind.

1. 75 Chicken Quesadillas (for kids to eat at G's 40th birthday party)
2. A double batch of  Chicken Tortilla Soup (also for G's party)
3. A huge pot of  Cheese and Broccoli Chicken Soup 
4. A pot of homemade Chicken Noodle Soup

Ok, so yes, I've fed my family mostly chicken and soup for a whole week but no one complained. Everyone ate it. And I didn't need to buy any groceries for the meals. I had everything on hand I needed for each of the things I made. YAY!