I planted flowers today. We have this one embankment that's hard to mow in the front of our house. I had this idea of planting a bunch of flowers along it. Driving around these last few weeks you can't help but notice all the tulips, hyacinths and daffodils springing up. Since this is the first spring we've spent in this home I wasn't sure what was going to pop up around here but no flowers have made an appearance. So I went shopping.
I had a coupon for a free six pack of annuals from a local place. And I was given a few flowers for being part of Mom's in Action. And then today I happened upon a deal at a local grocery store where big pots of tulips, hyacinths and Easter lilies were .99 each. AWESOME!
So a-planting I went. And it looks great. And I was just in the middle of looking at my work and thinking how great it looked when this thought hit me, "People in other countries don't plant flowers. They can't afford flowers. You're throwing away money on flowers! What a luxury you're treating yourself to."
I'm familiar with this thought. It comes to me all the time. When I'm buying something so frivolous as a throw pillow...when I want new living room furniture (our current and only set we've ever purchased is 9 years old)...when I pay someone to color my hair...when I think about dance or sports lessons for the kids. It's always there.
And I don't always know what to do with it. I sort of treat it as a little check and balance for myself. But. BUT. There's this guilt thing that comes with it. And I don't think that is a good thing. When it steals joy from the moment and I end up feeling condemned. Not the Father's heart. For sure.
Then I rationalize it away. I think about how many missionaries we support faithfully on a monthly basis. I'm so proud of that! So honored to be a part of what they're doing in the Nations. And I'm sowing in to people sowing in to us and our mission work.
Still it lingers. All the time. In grocery stores, clothing stores, flower stores. Maybe it's a product of growing up a missionary kid. Seeing what others do without. But also, and really this is the part I like about "the thought", it puts things in perspective. Sometimes those just-have-to-have-it-do-it-right-now items fall by the way side. They're not so important after all. I can do without them.
I'm not so sure what I think about my thought. Guess I've still got some thinking to do.
