I realized today that I know at least a hand-full of people who would refer to themselves as survivors. Specifically, survivors of LIFE. If I asked them how they're doing I'd get: "surviving". If I asked how things are going: "oh, I'll make it, I'm a survivor."
Hmmmm....the strange contrast of this kind of thinking vs what I feel is my own kind of thinking struck me as I was driving around town. And since I didn't have any children with me this evening I was able to pursue the thought for more than a millisecond. And here's where it led me.
I don't think I've ever thought that thought before. That I'm a survivor. That I am surviving. To me that feels so...limiting. Limited. It feels powerless rather than powerful.
I don't like being powerless. Do you?
There have definitely been periods of my life that I've survived. (A 7 month old that needed surgery by a pediatric neurosurgeon. A husband labeled with an unknown illness who was supposedly going to be unable to work/fly/drive/dress himself when I was 24. A move overseas and back again in less than 8 months) But even as I type those things "survived" doesn't encompass how I feel about them.
I conquered them. My family conquered them. My daughter conquered them. My husband conquered them. MY GOD CONQUERED THEM! And I was right there by His side while He was showing me I'm more than a conqueror. And if I'm more than a conqueror then I'm definitely way more than a survivor!
I am kicking life's butt. I'm not just along for the ride. I'm in the driver's seat (ok - so I'm driving a mini-van but still) and you can usually find me driving over the speed limit.
I won't be surviving this life. Surviving parenting two children. Surviving fluctuating finances. Surviving a marriage between two first-born people who don't always see eye-to-eye. Surviving balancing life, and missions and money and, and, and.
I'll be thriving. Because after all, isn't that what I was made for?
