Thrive or Survive?

I realized today that I know at least a hand-full of people who would refer to themselves as survivors. Specifically, survivors of LIFE. If I asked them how they're doing I'd get: "surviving". If I asked how things are going: "oh, I'll make it, I'm a survivor."

Hmmmm....the strange contrast of this kind of thinking vs what I feel is my own kind of thinking struck me as I was driving around town. And since I didn't have any children with me this evening I was able to pursue the thought for more than a millisecond. And here's where it led me.

I don't think I've ever thought that thought before. That I'm a survivor. That I am surviving. To me that feels so...limiting. Limited. It feels powerless rather than powerful.

I don't like being powerless. Do you?

There have definitely been periods of my life that I've survived. (A 7 month old that needed surgery by a pediatric neurosurgeon. A husband labeled with an unknown illness who was supposedly going to be unable to work/fly/drive/dress himself when I was 24. A move overseas and back again in less than 8 months) But even as I type those things "survived" doesn't encompass how I feel about them.

I conquered them. My family conquered them. My daughter conquered them. My husband conquered them. MY GOD CONQUERED THEM! And I was right there by His side while He was showing me I'm more than a conqueror. And if I'm more than a conqueror then I'm definitely way more than a survivor!

I am kicking life's butt. I'm not just along for the ride. I'm in the driver's seat (ok - so I'm driving a mini-van but still) and you can usually find me driving over the speed limit.

I won't be surviving this life. Surviving parenting two children. Surviving fluctuating finances. Surviving a marriage between two first-born people who don't always see eye-to-eye. Surviving balancing life, and missions and money and, and, and.

I'll be thriving. Because after all, isn't that what I was made for?

Cat Fight

(no animals were harmed in the making of this blog)

 

For most of my life - well at least since early high-school until recently - I was never really a fan of having girls or women as friends. I had a few girlfriends along the way - but given the choice between spending time with a female and time with a male, I usually opted for male company.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't really a "tom-boy", I wasn't into sports, never have been hunting...but I wasn't exactly cheer leader material either. The real tie breaker for me came from a distinct lack-of-drama on the male front. 

Women: they're catty, conniving, manipulative, materialistic. This this is what I thought. The few ladies who've been close friends over the years felt the same way (and we're still close, so no, this blog isn't about them). Better to stay out of female friendships and avoid the drama. I don't like to shop, I don't wanna talk about our nails, and I don't care who's dating who. Yup, that was me. Take it or leave it.


I was pretty die-hard on this issue. For. a. long. time.

Fast forward to my present day life and my, my, my, what have we here? My old me would be shocked at this 30-something me. I have more women friends than I can shake a stick at (not that I've tried shaking a stick at any of them).


And you know what? These ladies aren't catty. They aren't materialistic. They're not boring, dull, gossips either. They're not concerned with the length of their nails and we never, ever discuss who's dating whom.


THESE LADIES ARE AWESOME! My friends are awesome. And they're real. And honest. And good and caring and unique. Each one brings something so totally different and cool in to my life. What can I say? I love them! And I am so grateful for each of them. They're making my life even better than it was before.


And they're so important to me that I sometimes go to heroic measures (slight exaggeration) to spend time with them. And my husband sees how much they mean to me, how I'm actually changed for the better by time spent with them and frankly I think he's thankful I'm not taking out all my "talk time" on him. So he makes sacrifices to make sure that every so often I can go and spend hours upon hours with some of these great people. And we never run out of things to say.


I never thought I'd be in the place but lo and behold - here I am. And I'm loving it!

Baby Weight

You know, my youngest, my baby, will be 6 in June. And frankly, I'm still carrying around some 'baby weight'. Yeah, not back to the size I was before him, or the size I was before his sister, or to the size I was before marriage, or to the size I was before college...the list could go on.

And as I've given a little thought of late to this size issue (did you know swimsuits are already out in the stores? Good grief!). I've realized something, this extra weight is because of a baby but the baby is not my son.

So often I act just like a baby when it comes to food. I eat whatever sounds good, whatever is laying around within quick reach, whatever will meet my hunger need the quickest, whatever is yummiest. For example, rather than eating lunch with my family this weekend I opted to run out for groceries, knowing that sometime in the 2 hours I'd be gone I'd probably get hungry. And when I did, I quickly bought some junk that I could quickly eat, and then quickly continue shopping. Get it? I'm the baby that is the cause of my 'baby weight'!

And as the saying goes one thing leads to another and I'm quickly seeing God prying into some previously un-discussed (between me and Him) topics. I realize food is not the only baby area of my life. That self control is often lacking in many other ways. That in fact, my distaste for my current size is only a little arrow sign pointing to other, larger, uglier areas. Issues of the heart, issues of surrender, control and discipline. Only He's oh so gentle about it, and He lets me think it's all my idea.

So, I think while I'm on the treadmill dealing with my baby weight I'll be tuning in to my Heavenly Father as He shines a light on the spiritual baby weight I'm carrying. And as I shed those "pounds" I'm expecting awesome stuff to take their place. He never takes away without refilling.

It's time for this girl to do some growing up and getting in shape ~ I can't wait!

Daughters & Dishes

Picture courtesy of morguefile.com (http://mrg.bz/lwcH1n)

Have you ever had a conversation that started one place and ended up somewhere else entirely? The kind that leave you scratching your head, how did we get here from there? Well, a few nights ago Belle and I were doing the dishes after dinner. She asked for some music and I popped in my Mamas and Papas cd. And that's where it all started, with just a simple question from Belle about whether or not the singers we were listening to were still alive.

Me: no, I know that one died from a drug overdose

B: what is that?

Me: an explanation of overdose, the 70's, and what rebellion is

B: but there is also good rebellion right? like when countries are fighting their leaders?

Me: yes, if they are fighting against having no freedom or not being able to worship the way they want.

B: Is Obama president of all those countries too?

Me: No.

B: I bet if he was he would let them worship God because I think he is a Godly man.

Me: I'm not so sure about that. He's making some decisions that I don't think are very Godly.

B: like what?

Me: Well, he is supporting abortion and I know that doesn't make Jesus very happy.

B: What exactly is abortion?

Me: explanation of abortion

B: I think sometimes abortion is ok.

Me: Really?

B: Yes, like when you are young, or in college, or aren't ready to handle having a baby or kids. Then it should be ok.

Me:Re-explaining what abortion is then asking: if you really aren't ready to have a baby or handle kids or are too young, do you think you should be giving your body to someone so that you may end up having a baby? Do you think you are too young to also be doing those things? That there might be a reason God wants you to wait until marriage to give your body to someone?

B: You mean every single person who is not married and has a baby has done that?

Me: Well yes, many have. But some have adopted children too. Even though they aren't married.

B: Well now I know why God says that about being married. But adoption is good. Only if I would adopt I would want to get a really little baby so they could know our language.

And with that, Belle skipped off into the living room.

Maybe what you saw during your read was a sporadic conversation between a mom and a daughter (and I did try and condense and leave out unnecessary details). But what I see when I read this and remember our talk is a God orchestrated moment to reach my little girl right where she was at: on a quest for Godly knowledge, developing her own little moral compass, navigating her way through some of the hardest topics to discuss.

And notice that Belle was the one with the questions. She was the one asking for more. She was really the one in charge of the conversation. And notice that I didn't over-react to a little girl saying abortion was ok - I knew she didn't know what she was talking about - I knew this was a teaching moment and not a correcting moment. If I'd have over done it the conversation would have ended in upset and ugly. Praise God I didn't.

Seize the day, seize the moments. Teach when it's time to teach. Tune in to what God is doing and shaping in your little ones at even the oddest of moments. I'm so thankful I did.

PS. A few days later, after giving the topic time to sink in, I asked Belle about abortion again and she said she had decided it was wrong all the time, no matter what.

Blogs are Pretentious

So, over the years I've known about blogs, I've read blogs, I even think I remember when blogging was invented and everyone thought it was such a cool new thing. I've remained...skeptical. Don't get me wrong - I don't think there's a blog I've happened upon that I didn't enjoy reading. And I've got to say it seems most of my friends have been bloggers for a while now. But always, when I entertained the idea of blogging I had a thought that went a little something like this:

"It's pretentious to think that I have anything so special to say that I should write a blog about it." or
"I don't have such an exciting life that it's something to write about" or
"What makes my thoughts so interesting and unique that people would want to read them?"

However, over the last few months, maybe even a year I've experienced a slow but sure change of heart. I'm starting to see that there's something deeply satisfying about community, connection, relationship. That if we all joined hearts and heads we're way more likely to win the battle (whatever your battle may be on any given day). I've learned from those of you I've read, I've changed things about myself, the way I do things, tried new things, read new things... The list could go on. And I've realized I definitely have things to say. Things that only I can say as I am the only me. And my experiences make me all that I am and give me that special 'Uniquely Me' take on every situation.

So, maybe blogs aren't so pretentious after all. And seeing that I've decided to start one of my own, maybe something I've got to say will help you along your way. Or entertain you at the very least.

So here I go...join me if you dare.